ANAM CARA….MY ISLE, MY HAVEN

ANAM CARA ~~~~~~ MY ISLE, MY HAVEN…

 

And so it begins……

 

One month after purchase of a decent secondhand  laptop I finally begin to write….

Aka Carrie style in front of my haven’s Gothic arched window looking out, not across the city but over endless fields and My Isle.

 

I arrived with nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Except, and because of, a burning desire to be gone…to begin again.

 

And to write at last. At long last…

 

From my window I can see a famous tower – albeit across the ‘shadowlands’ between and then the watery divide that bought me hence . There is something mystical about living here – about the cottage and the view that continues to entice me back. More so – I finally belong. And moreover – it finally feels like a home.

Actually I am sitting here and now recognising some things for the very first time.

The delightfully ‘wonky’ cottage at the end of the adjacent field – I wonder who lives there?

The bench ‘en solace’ in my neighbour’s beautiful grounds. For grounds they are…unlike my cottage garden plot. Envious I am not for I have found the perfect place – the one in my dreams since early childhood – complete with rose adorned porchway.

Sitting here already feels like I am outside …especially on the days I do not wish to be.

The days I stay home and ‘wallow’ – reflection laying heavily on my tangled mind.

As I write it is suddenly raining and aptly I recognise my watershed but it is no epiphany as I realised many many years ago I was simply not made for ‘that Life’ – back ‘there’….

Please join me on my new life here on this majestic magical island.

For personal reasons I shall not divulge it’s title.

Let’s just call it Victory.

Homeland

September  22^nd    Victory Island:  noon

There is one lone magpie beneath my window –  out on the field – he swooped and stared

Oh,  now there are two. Happily pecking at the recently ploughed corn field

As they gather closer – twinned – a huge nasty auraed ? Raven flies down – predatory –menacing – watching…waiting to pounce. Far from oblivious but cleverly ignoring him they continue to enjoy their bountiful find.  He is perturbed – unsure – seeing he is having no effect he abruptly flies away.

Now the sun is out on the recently raindrenched earth and as the brief shower has refreshed the grey hues of this day I can now see with clarity across my ‘shadowlands’, out across the sea to the perfectly symmetrical white glare of the tower on the coastline beyond this cultured pearl – My Isle.

One for sorrow. One for Joy.

 

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I think of such predators in my own life – thankfully gone! – those who wanted to suck every seed of energy dry – to claim entire fields for themselves. Those ignorantly in fear of us ‘magpies’ – deceived by our own trickery – our bedazzling spirit and our incapacity to deliberately hurt others. No malice aforethought!

I believe magpies are inherently Irish – they are everywhere – and I mean everywhere- in the Irish fields at ‘home’. I adore that they love all that glitters even if it may not, in fact, be Gold. Don’t we all? Sometimes we scrape off the appealing exterior to reveal far less attractive materials below – often too soon – but does this stop us continuing to search and be drawn to that which initially intrinsically attracts us?

Isn’t this how many of Life’s valuable lessons are learned?

How happy I am that my predators are past because I placed them there and that I am now more simplistic in my tastes – although the odd rough diamond does not escape my attention at times! Yet I have shed the coat of societal mores and I can see with so much more clarity now. The chunky formal overcoats of Expectation were never really me and abandoning such items without a backward glance led me barefoot & fancy free into the experience I am finally living – as me!

Like the chrysalis which finally sheds its cumbersome lava skin and pokes its wings – tentatively at first- through to a waiting world – its enforced isolation and ostricisation no longer able to repress it, its long hibernation shed and left eternally neglected for pastures new.

Yes this particular chrysalis took its time but has  (finally) metamorphosed into the freedom of the butterfly she always claimed she would finally be … spreading colourful wings to the ultimate heights.

Phoenix rising.

As I finish sharing with you, the scene before me now is very bright and clear with no hint of the recent deluge. The Tower beyond The Field is brighter  than ever against the blue skies and scudding puffs of clouds.

I think I will allow this to be my fortuitous omen.